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We are more than just clothes, make up and weight!!! Oh and meet Wendy

Arghhhhh…I have just come from a voyeur session on Pinterest and I am mind numbingly bored. I was searching for inspiration for blog and life content so I type in “Women over 50” and nearly all of them were either about fashion, make up, exercise or how to lose weight….why in all the dogs years do other women (and men) think that is all we are interested in….or is it just me??

Don’t get me wrong I kind of am interested in make up and fashion but dear lord, please remember that we are holistic beings and are WHOLE, so we should also be focusing on our mental, environmental, spiritual, brain health…of course our physical well being is very important but it is really not so simple.

How many women have hobbies or passion projects that do not involve knitting needles, hiking boots or working in a charity shop ? ME!!!! Do I want to read inspiration from other women and what lights them up? YES!!!

So, for the love of our silvering hair please stop or just add…

And on another note (full peri menopause rant) why do people dumb us down with the language they use? Sparkles….fabulous at fifty….the list goes on. What did make me giggle though is the ads have suddenly started to change and I am now seeing posts for funerals, life insurance, incontinence…bloody hell, all I can say – it is a riot being fifty!

So, rant over I want you to meet Wendy. She came to see me and share some chats, rants, whining and of course ‘it is not the same as in our day’ talk over some wine, dodgy snacks and chocolate…Wendy is 45, married but lives her single life vicariously through me, has twin toddler boys, luckily for me a love of wine and….and…..darn it (trying to think of something very intelligent then), we have to keep it at that. So, I would like to think I am her mentor but also her inner adventurer. She is fascinated with my life and I am with hers. I always think it is an interesting subject of mixing single, childless friends and those with children and relationship status anything other than ‘it’s complicated’, 'divorced' or ‘single’. Being friends with children is challenging but it is also great as I get to live a sort of mothering role vicariously through her. Sometimes it does get a little fraught when we are drinking this truth serum and I offer my opinions, as sound to her like, screeching fingernails down a chalk board, suffice to say, it does not go down too well.

Wendy is what I think the opposite to me, which makes our friendship work and of course the fact that I am five years ahead of her so she sees me as wiser and more fearless in the fact that I have done the dumb stuff she could only dream of, sees the results and ticks off her bucket list from afar.

Saying that, she is a very astute, powerful woman who does it all, she has her twins – did I mention TODDLER BOYS??? A stay at home husband who is I guess the saviour but also another child and on top of that high powered job. She keeps herself in what she calls tip top condition (and I would agree), or has done up until the menopause came knocking and now her body, like mine, has decided to go rogue on her which she finds very upsetting and to top it all off she has elderly parents who seem to add to the children count in terms of neediness. To me, she does it all with very little moaning and I have great admiration but also from a distance.

We met many moons ago when we worked at the same office. Both of us had the same boss, who quite literally came directly from hell and did not pass go, so we used to ‘trauma bond’ and luckily for me we remained friends, and although we are very different, we click. I adore her kids and husband though I have the luxury to be able to walk away as I do not think I could deal with the hangovers I am be subjected to, then with the additional screaming, loud, snotty beings needing my attention.

I do realise that support is paramount to ones sanity and wellbeing but when I did do a deep dive into who were the energy vampires in my friendship group, and when I (big sigh….not me, the universe) made the decision to upgrade me and who I surround myself with, I found that I now lack friends. Real friends and those connections. They say that in life you have core friends you can count on one hand and all the rest are acquaintances, they may swap roles and some come and go but it can be lonely when that sad figure is virtually nil. More about that another time, back to Wendy…

She will be a character throughout and you will get to know her more where she will also offer tips and tricks of dealing with life as a 45 year old, super mom, wife and of course friend.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this, if so please do spread the word.

Thanks! And all I have left to say is…

Ciao for now!

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